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Torture Division: With endless wrath we bring upon thee our infernal torture
16/04/09 || Daemonomania
I’ve been listening to this album constantly since I got it. On the New York City subway, where it makes me want to start knifing people in the kidneys smiling all the while. As I hurry into work, where it puts a spring in my step and some evisceration on my mind. At home, where I can relax with a beer and headbang without shame. It kicked Volbeat and Coldworker right out of my top rotation. And it took a foul coffee-dump on Volbeat’s face whilst doing so.
Needless to say, this will be the most unbiased review in Global Domination history. The guitarist is NOT the founder of this website. The vocals and bass are NOT handled by a living legend and original member of my favorite band eva. And the drums in no way are taken care of by the dude from Vomitory… no wait, they are. And I’m not a big Vomitory fan. Guess which instrument gets the lowest marks?
As a bit of background, this album is made up of three free demos that Torture Division put out last year. Fucking FREE. But for all of us dumbshits who still need to feel physical pieces of plastic in our hands (not dildos, get yer mind out of the gutter), the friendly folks in TD placed these demos on a disc and allow any label to distribute their Satanic propaganda. Now, after paying for something that any other person in their right mind would simply download, I’m pleased to announce this was well worth the greenbacks I didn’t need to spend.
Torture Division play Swedish death metal (cuz they are from Sweden, Jack Meiov!) for the new millennium. Fast, nasty, and with nary a concern for the listener’s mental health. What is immediately noticeable about this compilation is the fucken energy. Many metal bands kick out the jams with technical precision and chops aplenty, but fail to give you the impression they are hungry. Das Division is made up of scene vets who know how to write music, are aware that they could spend half of each song experimenting with polyrhythms and electronic bits and time changes, and decide instead just to rip your throat out.
On a side note, TD give themselves a shout out almost every song. You will not forget that they’re named Torture Division. I’ve noticed a similar tactic in rap music. Here’s a fictional example:
Back up ho, unless you wanna get slapped
I’m DJ Dodecahedron, you better watch yo back
The only thing I smoke with a pipe is an asscrack!
Ha ha, I stole that last line from Naughty by Nature. Anyway, with a track like “We are Torture Division” the only option left is to name the album itself “You’re listening to Torture Division”. All traces of doubt will be removed from even the most brain damaged listener. Infants would be able to identify the supergroup after just a few seconds of being purified.
Anyway, there are plenty of great songs on “WEWWBUTOIT”. It is easier to mention the one that doesn’t particularly masturbate my sado-goat…”Double barrel remedy”. There’s just too much blasting and Jörgen decides to cup the mic or something, messing up his perfect growl. My only complaint overall would be the predominance of blasting here and there, actually. I celebrate International Blastbeat Appreciation Day just like everyone else, but too much and the great zone-out starts to take place. What did I have for dinner two days ago…nope, still blasting… I really should start exercising more often… the blast continues… are pushup bras false advertising? …and so on.
Other than that, though, the album is smoooooth sailin’. Can’t wait for more. Fans of Swedish DM need look no further for motherfuckers laying it down in the classic style with a modern twist. The vocals are beyond superb, the riffs are catchy as fuck, the bass makes very frequent and very awesome headlining appearances, drumming is on-point aside from a bit of blasturbation, and the production is taken care of by some fucken jerk known as David, no, uh, Dwayne, no, uh, Dan Swan-something. You mighta heard of him.
If you’re tired of having balls that hang free outside of your chest cavity, Torture Division have a disc full of solutions for you. 8 large military units devoted to suffering out of 10.
- Information
- Released: 2009
- Label: Abyss, and anyone else foolish enough to take ‘em on
- Website: www.torturedivision.net
- Band
- Jörgen Sandström: vocals, bass
- Lord K. Philipson: guitars
- Tobias Gustafsson: drums
- Tracklist
- 01. Ejaculation of the Wicked
- 02. Bludgeoning Your Flesh Into Dust
- 03. We Are Torture Division
- 04. Invoking the Knifer
- 05. We Bring Upon Thee
- 06. Terroreyes
- 07. Double Barrel Remedy
- 08. Left for Dead
- 09. End This Rotten World
- 10. The Torture Never Stops (W.A.S.P. cover)
- 11. The Purifier
